Beautiful

Beauty has a name. And that name is Jenna Olivia. She was born one year ago(March 31st) and has brought so much joy and happiness to the people around her. Now, unfortunately, I have to receive my love from afar. So Muchie know this, LouLou loves you and thinks about you and your mommy everyday. Now anyone who talks to me, sees my computer or watches me flip open my cell phone, knows that I am pretty obsessed with this little girl. But you can’t help it. To see someone who is already amazing at the tender age of one, bud into what I think, will be one of the greatest chicas ever. Also, to know that there is someone around my big sister who loves her just as much as I do brings me great joy. It’s a pretty hard task but you are doing a heck of a job. The love that you and your mother share is undeniable. Just like ours. You both are lucky to have one another. And I am BLESSED to be a part of your lives. So thank you Muchie for spending the weekend with your Auntie. I had a blast, even though you woke me up way too early and I now can say that I know who and what the Wiggles and Doodlebugs are, it was well worth the trip. Continue to be the beautiful little girl God created you to be and I will be home soon.
And for goodness sake, please grow so we can get you in those ballerina slipper, auntie’s ready for a recital!!!
Love,

Auntie LouLou

PS I told you she was beautiful!!!!

Happy Birthday(My Apology)

Today is a very special. It is the 25th birthday of someone who is very dear to me,
Even though she probably doesn’t think so.
Last week in my blog I talked about how I had this silly habit of not answering the phone. Once again it has nothing to do with the person calling; I’m just lazy and trifling. I’d think in the back of my mind, I’ll call them tomorrow.
Of course, I never did and days turned into weeks which turned into months which eventually turned into years like two.
Yes, I am a horrible person I know. Well, I can’t do anything about that now the only thing that I can do is not do it again and apologize from the bottom of my heart.
So, here it goes:

I love you. I know it’s kind of hard to see it but I really do
I was not, not answering the phone because I woke up
One morning and decided that I didn’t like you
I just always put it off and eventually
It had just been so long that truthfully
I was embarrassed. I know it might sound silly
But I was. I was like she’s gone kill me
But you never left my thoughts.
I think about you all the time, on
Your birthday, when I’d see skool daze
Or say something that would and could
Only remind me of you.
Dance monkey Dance
And now that I’ve come back into contact
I am constantly kicking myself
Because you have just become this
Amazing person (at least it seems)
And I wasn’t there to see it happen, idiota!!!
And I’m still kind of scared that
In some ways I don’t fit into your life anymore
So in some ways I still kind of hold off
Because I think I’m not needed anymore
And that your probably still mad
You probably are and with good reason
Nevertheless, I wanted to
Take this opportunity to say that I am truly
Sorry, miss and love you
Also, happy birthday by the way.
I hope to see you soon
I know there is no way to
To make up for the past
But there is always the future

Ok enough of that, well it’s your birthday.
So your finally 25. Gosh your getting old,
Good thing I’m only still 24.
Well have a good one,
Don’t get drunk, throw up and pass
Out in the middle of your party
I’ll send you the infamous photo
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

In a Flash

People say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes. Last night as I was watching TV, I tried to think of memories that I think would be on that list. I wondered if that might’ve been silly. I mean do we truly see things before we die or does that give us the hope to lead extraordinary and joyous lives so that when depart we can go with the lasting memories of love. I have a bad memory and tend to forget most things but when I cleared my mind these things came into frame.

• When my dad came home from work I would run up to him and tell him hello. I would grab both of his hands and proceed to walk up his body and flip upside down. Of course at the age of six, I probably didn’t weigh that much. But I actually think that would be my last memory because it’s my favorite.


• Sometimes when my grandfather would go to the store he would let me ride with him. It made me feel really good because, let’s face it, back in those days, your grandmamma’s house was swarming with kids so you being picked to do something other than go get the switch off the tree, was a big deal.


• Not having to be in house at a certain time, means you have plenty of time to waste and discover life. So, I spent most of my early days running wild with Matthew. He was my very bestest friend until he moved away in the third grade to I think Utah. Who the hell moves there!?! Well, I love stuffed rabbits. The day Matthew moved, I ran out my house carrying my favorite one to give him and tell him bye.


• I saw myself hitting a tennis ball against my godfather’s garage door. I used to go over his house all the time and spend hours with the tennis ball machine working on my drive. I also could hear the time he told my I made the best spaghetti in the world!!! Back then it was a big deal, but come on now, how do you screw up spaghetti?? However, I have seen it done


• Daisha, my most favorite person ever(I feel sorry for my real daughter if I have one), telling me she loved me for the first time. It nearly broke my heart. She was two years old and was leaving the room. She said, “Ashley, give me a hug.” I gave her a hug. She turned to walk away, then turned back around. “Ashley, give me a kiss.” I gave her a kiss and she turned back around. Then she said, “I love you Ashley!” and I said, “ I love you too!” Now I know my name isn’t Ashley, but even though she could talk, her tongue was thick so that’s what my name sounded like when she said it. So everyone just started calling me that, I heard it so much I thought it was my name!!!!


• Then there are memories that don’t really need explanations.Seeing my niece for the first time.


• Watching TV with my grandmother


• The moment my mother walked in the door from the car accident she was in that took her brother’s life.


• Playing baseball with my brother and father.


• Stuffing dirty socks in my brother’s mouth!!!!


• Sleeping on my sister’s little ass couch and her sleeping on the twin bed before we hit the town, CLASSIC moment in life.


• Hanging from the giant pipe in my grandparent’s basement with my two cousins.


• The first party on the yard my freshman year in college.


• HA! Me fighting with my Damon. It how we express our love for one another.

There were a few other things I saw and thought of but I’m tired, cold and writing this blog is distracting me from watching Project Runway. Well, if we do see things before we die or as we die, I hope these things make the list. And hopefully I can continue to do the little, simple, small, loving things that will follow me wherever I go.